Glass Pain

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Sophie
18
New Zealand

I do
I try and rearrange the fragments into a whole glass pane
Pushing prodding poking
Always having some stick out
That cut me
That make me feel pain
That make me cry and cry

I still do though
I push them in
I will them in
I drain my body to get them in
It makes me feel so alone sometimes
And it hurts so much

I still do though
I rearrange them
Change them
Reshape them
Mold them.
They stick out
The effort makes me fall to the floor
I still do though

Sometimes I throw it, shattering them again
Making them break into a million pieces
I get so angry with myself
When I do it.
But then I see the light reflect broken rainbows off the fragments
And I pick myself up again
And keep on rearranging
In hope that one day I will see it complete.